July 31st to August 5th 2015; Leaving Japan

Packed up my life:

Starbucks from my Kouhai:

Kouhai already exhausted before the newbies even arrive:

Israeli food for dinner! I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it was:

With these peeps:

(Plus 2 not pictured)

July 27th-30th 2015, Monday to Thursday ~Last week in a JapaneseGovernment Office!!!~

A coworker made this for me. It's the kanji (chinese character) for 'yume', dream, written using the hiragana (one of the Japanese alphabets) for 'arigato', thank you.

Farewell dinner with my closest coworker, Miyazaki-san, and my supervisor, Sogo-san.

Message card from all my coworkers!

Beautiful bag present from my coworkers.

Chopsticks from my lovely coworker.

I may have treated myself to some family mart chicken (famichiki) and the new Animal Crossing game; Happy Home Designer.

You get to make your own character too!

Minor Success

So, this week I was faced with a huge personal wall at work. If you know me you know I have a lot of anxieties and a growing list of phobias but something that has always been near impossible for me was calling strangers on the phone. It may sound silly to some people but it’s actually a fairly common fear, perhaps not to the extent that I have taken it but people often have anxieties over using the phone.

It make sense when you think that you don’t know who you are speaking to, you can’t see their face or body language to read cues, and even if you plan for what you are going to say you have no idea what their response might be.

My fear has been around for a long time and it used to be worse. When I was around 17 or 18 I started working in my father’s medical practice as a receptionist. As you can already tell, having a phone phobia is not the best for someone whose work is with phones. Back then I was still terrified of even answering the phone. I remember my first day where I was made to answer a few phone calls and after the first few fell apart completely. I rushed into the back room to cry. But by just having to face my fear I was made to get over it. It took a wee while but eventually I became able to answer phones just fine. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t have been able to continue in that line of work for 6 years.

In this day and age, it is a lot easier to avoid calling people. Email, text, online forms, Google; we have everything we need to be anti-social and live in our box of comfort. I have always used those forms of contact to my advantage, avoiding all forms of phone calls aside from automated phone systems. There have been a few unavoidable circumstances; dealing with taxes, student loans, calling someone back after they left a message. But overall, I’ve been fairly successful.

Until this week, where I was faced with something more difficult than just a phone　call to a stranger. A phone call to a stranger from my work place in my second language. Needless to say I spent my week in a perpetual circle of panic attacks. The worst lasting at least 4 hours of my work day. Heart palpitations, sweating, difficulty breathing, nausea, stomach pain, headaches, repetitive thought patterns, crying and rage spells. It’s been one hell of a week. And all over a bunch of phone calls. I’m fully aware of the ridiculousness of this all but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Perhaps I should expand on why this is so hard for me aside from the phone fear. I’m also terrified of offending people (the formalities of Japanese are not easy to grasp), I’m worried about misrepresenting my workplace (a government office), I’m scared of not being able to express myself enough that it will make sense to the person on the other end, and I feel completely unprepared and unqualified for the job that I’ve been asked to do after the phone calls are made (visiting schools to evaluate their assistant language teacher’s teaching). These are the thoughts that run through my head creating a whole mix of doubt and anger and fear.

But yesterday, I bit the bullet. I made 4 phone calls resulting in 2 confirmations and all within an hour. They weren’t easy or smooth but they did work. The battle isn’t over, I still have 10 places to confirm with and then comes the actual visiting of the places I’ve called but yesterday I had a taste of minor success. I proved to myself that even my poor business Japanese can be understood over the phone, I didn’t die when I made the call, no body called work to say a rude foreigner called them and made no sense what so ever, and I even managed to arrange a few of the visits I needed to.

The job isn’t any more pleasant for me and I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about making more calls or visiting more places by myself but I’m just happy that I showed my own mind that I’m not completely useless and if I make enough effort I can push past my anxiety and be a functional human being.

Being a CIR on the JET Programme

When I signed up for my position as a Coordinator of International Relations on the JET Programme the last thing I expected was to be fixing someone’s toilet seat or inspecting a Shingles rash. But my position has brought me many of these little surprises in the past 9 months.

I had not expected to get into the JET programme at all. I had messed up my application about 3 or 4 times and had completely bombed the interview. I was off on a two month trip around Europe when I heard that I was accepted onto the shortlist and needed to complete a health check. With only one or two days in each city it was not an easy thing to arrange. But here I am, in a job I never signed up for, filling out people’s holiday requests while I watch my year spin on.

The Coordinator of International Relations position on the JET programme never claimed to be straight forward and it’s true that some of the items listed on their official website relate to my own job; translation and interpreting. However, when someone asks me what my position is I don’t even refer to the coordinating of culture but rather the mother of 12 (soon to be 24) ALTs (Assistant Language Teachers).

There is another position on the JET program called a PA (Prefectural Advisor) or in my case a CA (City Advisor). I first found out about this position through an email 2 weeks before my arrival in Japan in July 2013 when a current CIR in my city asked if I knew I would be a CA. I didn't.

I spent my last few weeks before moving my whole life over to a city I’d never been to googling what on earth a CA really was. The conclusion of my research; a counsellor. My research wasn’t entirely correct.

A CA is more of an administrative FAQ book which JET programme participants are encouraged to contact 24/7. My first few months on the job were stressed with everyone in my city (bar one) being a new JET participant including myself yet all the questions regarding the area (which I had never visited), being a teacher (which I had only a fleeting 1 hour of experience with), and how to use [insert household appliance here] being aimed at me.

I was asked to interpret with no prior notice and no knowledge of the subject on a regular basis. This, you have probably guessed, was a disaster due to the fact that I hadn’t actively used my Japanese for at least 18 months. I umm-ed and ahh-ed my way through the days of seminars and bureaucratic paper work until my head felt like it was about to burst.

Messages sent in the early hours of the morning or through my desperately leisurely weekends taunted me and hours of overtime accumulated without compensation. I tried to keep on top by keeping extensive memos in small notebooks that were always on my person but I am now on my 6th notebook and yet to comprehend anything I’ve written so far.

I was told, by the internet, that most of my jobs in the beginning would be easy, Japanese to English translations but I’ve had more English to Japanese translations than Japanese essays I’ve written in my past 10 years of Japanese study in just the first few months of work here. Sometimes I do native check for the translation group upstairs but most of the time I am filling out transportation reimbursement forms, holiday requests and going over lesson plans from the around 100 Elementary Schools and close to 50 Junior High Schools.

And all the rush and panic I felt 9months ago will be starting over again when 13 new ALTs arrive in the summer.

You’d think that after all this craziness I would’ve done the sensible thing and found an alternate employment but maybe the craziness drove me crazy because I’ve signed on for another year.

The office I work in is filled with people who feel the same as me, if not worse. Teachers who are supposed to be in classrooms but are instead charged with answering phone calls and filling out paperwork. Yet, despite their predicament, they are always working their hardest to smile and support each other.

Although I may not agree with all the office politics and processes that go on in a Japanese work place I do admire their ability to deal with unpleasant situations. Even if it’s just stapling a few programs together for a co-workers upcoming event or taking a unsatisfied parent’s phone call even though the person in charge of the case is away on sick leave and they have no idea what it’s about.

They sit through being yelled at, being despised by families, being criticised by the media, and even being accused of stealing money from the taxpayer. Despite all this negativity flowing around they still put on a smile every day, welcome each other back energetically after like it’s their own home, and crack jokes about sexual harassment (in a very non-offensive way).

It’s thanks to these people that even when I’m feeling stressed and tired I’m able to keep smiling even through the napping hours in the afternoon.

Unfortunately, their influence may not keep me here for much longer then what I’ve already signed up for but it has taught me priceless lessons about the power of positivity and also the benefits of calling for help on even the smallest of things.

Being a CIR has not given me what I hoped for but there is always a lesson to be learnt from whatever situation you find yourself in.